what am i going to do with my life? how am i going to stop procrastinating and actually make an effort to expand my brain in topics that actually interest me?
take media policy analysis... a subject, which, for most people, is about as attractive as vomiting and diarrheaing at the same time. but for me, the mere thought gives me nip-ons (the media policy bit, not the vomit/diarrhea).
but policy analysis scares me, because it requires a lot of critical thinking stuff and i am not good at that. then there's carleton's grad program, which is frightening in its own right. then there's, wait, why the hell am i thinking about grad school?
these thoughts were cursing my brain as i hurried my ass to campus, so i could hand in the most shameful essay i've ever written. shameful not because it's the worst essay i've ever done, oh no, shamelful because i knew goddamn well the essay required much more development, but i didn't put in the hours, and considering how much i respect my prof and how much i wish to impress him, the failure is plain embarrassing.
then i end up talking to him for about 45 min about things like media policy, grad school, how the academic literature on journalism is weak and pathetic and hypes up the blogosphere like dot com boom deja vu, and then, because he's good, he convinces me to take his third-year policy studies class next semester. this class is tough as balls, considering the fact that he teaches it, meaning, he expects a lot, and considering the fact that i'm a puny second year.
then he was all "i dunno if i'm teaching it next year blah blah blah". now, you must understand that when i find good profs, i nab'em. so farewell, my easy pop culture class.
then, at 3a.m. this morning, i also convinced myself to drop my child development class for an intro to macroeconomics course. why i have done this, i have no idea.
this post makes no sense and i'm sorry, but it's now five a.m. and i desperately need sleep..
please make me feel better about registering for an economics class... please..
need i remind you i failed gr12 math?
fuck.
