Exactly one year ago today, I was driving towards Silver City, a cinema in the east end of Ottawa. My destination, a date with a charmingly funny guy I had befriended at work. At that time I had no idea he and I would become a "thing." At the time, I didn't really expect anything.
After parking, I walked towards the movie theatre, spotting a cute boy talking on his cellphone off in the distance. He was wearing a light blue t-shirt I still consider one of my favourites today. A "techno boy" t-shirt I once nicknamed. He got off the phone shortly after, and we proceeded inside the theatre, buying tickets for Phone Booth.
I will admit, I was kind of scared. This was my first real official date since the summer before, and the previous guy had been a complete jackass. Then there was the fiasco in October, which involved me becoming infatuated with a guy who already had a girlfriend. At that point though, I was over everything. It had been a very long time since I'd gotten any love.
You could say that because of the bad experiences I'd had with the previous two guys, I wasn't really optimistic about hooking up with someone. I remained surprisingly realistic with my expectations of my first date with him, something I rarely do. I liked the guy though, he made me laugh, he had a cute face/style/butt, and at the time, that's all that mattered.
I remember when he actually got around to asking me on this date. We had e-mailed each other a few times, and talked on the phone for four straight hours, but no arrangement to get together had been discussed. Since phone conversations with men are statistically only supposed to last no longer than a few minutes, this usually indicates a level of romantic interest, on the guy's part anyway. He appeared interested, but he wasn't trying to get in my pants on a verbal level yet, so I was a bit confused.
He finally asked me out (through e-mail, if I recall correctly), and I called him on it. He was pretty embarrassed, but really, why should he have done it anyway? In this day and age, I have just as much incentive to ask. So in the end, we both felt like idiots. That much has never changed.
First date etiquette has never been my forte. This may have something to do with the fact that all the guys I've dated or fucked around with have always been perverse losers, so they've always come off as being really sleazy or rude. So when he did nothing more than take my hand in his, I was even more confused.
I had expected groping. With previous movie dates, this had become something so common, I'd begun expecting it. And due to these previous experiences, his behaviour almost made it seem like he was not interested. What I didn't realize of course, was, he was being a gentleman.
What I love about my boyfriend and have since the moment I started talking to him, has been his honesty.. And integrity.. and genuineness. He's a real guy, and he does not play games. I fuckin love that. It's so rare to find that in men these days. It's simply refreshing.
When we had first met at work, I was bitching about my parents (a topic that comes up quite frequently, with good reason) and this time it was about their tactless comments about my teeth. They believe my teeth are very yellow, and to this day, would like me to have them bleached. He laughed at me, looked at my teeth, and said "Pfft, what? Your teeth look fine! As if your parents want you to do that!"
I've always had guys say complimenting responses to stories like this, further proving my theory that they're only saying it because they want me. So at the time I didn't believe this random stranger who kept checking out my butt, but I actually felt uncomfortable not believing him. Obviously, when you meet a person for a first time, honesty can be difficult to evaluate, but with him, I felt comfortable trusting what he said from the very beginning. That has never happened to me before.
I love this guy. He gets me water, he pays for my food, he makes fun of girls who are more attractive than me, he stayed with me during Bell's, he has never lied to me, not even once, he is willing to give up his entire life in Ottawa to be with me in Toronto, he's just amazing on so many levels that I don't want anybody to ever experience but me. I see so many girls who fall for the same sleazy lying scumbags I once used to date, and I feel really sorry for them. I sincerely hope they find someone like my boyfriend because damn, he's fine.
He has made me grow as a person. I didn't know what empathy meant before I fell in love. Tragic romantic movies and books never had any meaning to me until now; I actually cry during movies. It's like I have a soul, or something. I cried during the largesse of Hey Nostradamus! because I couldn't imagine dealing with something like that. Before, I had no idea what it was like to confide in someone 100%. It feels good. It feels right. You do it, and you feel happy knowing that someone will be there for you to rely on. When we say things "I love you" to each other, they feel infinite. That gives me more comfort than anything else ever has. Love is everything they say it is, and more.
And while the past few months have been kinda rough on us (as we never get to see each other), my feelings have never diminished. I still feel the same butterflies in my stomach the way they fluttered 12 months ago.
I love you Dom.
