yay my midterms are done!
now i can focus on other things. like finding a job.
seriously though, it's been a while since i've been this po'.
i can't go see muse because of my lack of funds. and my birthday presents for my friends have been sucking ass. and my diet has consisted of soup in a can, which can sometimes taste good, but if you pick the wrong type of soup, the taste is just outside of gross made bearable only by lots and lots and lots of salt.
plus, starbucks misses me. i can tell because it purposely went out of its way to make sure any store-bought chai i drink tastes bad.
i need a job. somebody hire me. please. i'm very talented.
no really, just check out this awesome makeshift resume:
jan. 2001 - aug. 2004
was bitch to the masses of american stupid via technical chat support. put up with people who could not differentiate between their computer, monitor, or mouse. nor could they understand that we couldn't help them with their toaster. got screwed over by management and was scheduled shifts that made me (and my fellow colleagues) go crazy, to the point where we started hitting each other and throwing our feces around. outraged, management killed some people. there was mass hysteria. i quit right before it took that nosedive, though.
aug. 2001 - dec. 2001
bitch to laura secord customers. developed biceps by serving ice cream. stole chocolates and then stopped eating them because they smelled like vaginal discharge. packed fudge. literally, of course.
october 2000 - december 2000
gift wrap and customer service bitch for the body shop. loved it. was seasonal so i was kicked off the island. those fuckin bitches.
education
artsy fartsy high school 1999-2003
where i learned to love lesbianism and hate obnoxious drama students. got a better sense of self confidence by having class orgies and other activities that closely resembled sex. learned yoga exercises from a teacher that liked to unzip her pants. smoked sweet grass with another teacher who taught us about the wonders of clown. and yet another teacher forced us to fart onstage otherwise we would lose marks.
awards
some stupid shit tech support hell gave me to make me feel better that they were ass-raping me at the time.
fine arts certificate for the dramatic arts
that's about it
special skills
typing 50000wpm
4+ years of customer service that has made me bitter to the extreme.
i can steal web design code and make it look good
occasionally a very good cook
hobbies
blogging
wasting time on #mefi and MSN instead of studying.
vrrrroom!
references
my boyfriend can talk for hours about my breasts.
