i am such an idiot + fuck you nature
i just bought a samosa from the perfect vegetarian restaraunt and i ALSO bought a chocolate chip cookie, because i LOVE myself, but THEN, i totally forgot to actually take one. they give you the samosa but you actually need to be smart enough to take the cookie YOURSELF from the bowl, and i'm clearly not smart enough to do this. so really i just paid fifty cents to prove to myself how stupid i TRULY am. wonderful.
i envisioned eating this cookie on my way home. i said to myself, man, that samosa's gonna be AWESOME, what with the spiciness, and the sweet-ass chutney they got goin', man it's gonna be even AWESOMER cuz i'm gonna eat that delicious COOKIE right after, and i'll be alllllll set! then i got home and i emptied out my bag and lo and behold, no cookie. and fuck i really WANT a cookie right now, exploding with that chocolate chunkiness.... aaahhhhhmmmmsdfjadsfjkl. dodging the steakhouse breeds cravings breeds me urgently wasting money on chocolate, breeds me being poor. OH YEAH, and i also just found out that because of the great university imcompetence, i won't actually get my first paycheque until MID-MARCH. holy fuckin shit.
(dodging the steakhouse is a euphemism that came from my friends, no one really understands how it works but it just does. falling to the communists is another term i use. in other words, I'VE HAD MY PERIOD FOR THE LAST FEW DAYS AND I FEEL FUCKIN GRUMPY.)
you'd think with all the warm weather we've been having, i'd be happier. the temperature here has been plus degrees for the past few days, and trendy yuppies everywhere are laughing. why? because now their flimsy coats actually fit the season. sure, sure, they were dying from hypothermia only a week earlier, but now they're trendy AND functionally fit for the weather. it makes ugly parka-wearing people like me want to rip apart their pretty four hundered dollar american eagle jackets to bits.
what the fuck is this? i mean yay, it's warm, but YOU KNOW IT'S A LIE. so what if it's warm? so what if the sun is shining? you know nature is out to get us, look what she did to the tsunamai people. no, i don't trust this. i know deception when i see it. for fuck's sake, it's FEBRUARY. i'm not going to risk wearing a skirt and a spring jacket. i just know the instant i do, the blizzard will come, snowing us in, and what do you know, i can't blog anymore i can't type anymore i can't jill off anymore because the FROSTBITE ATE MY FINGERS. fuck you nature, fuck you.
