i went shopping yesterday and already, i know the items i will be returning. see, i'm very much a loser for admitting this but.. if i develop any sort of friendly rapport with the salesperson, if they really go out of their way to help me out, i feel absolutely obliged to buy, even if i'm not 100% happy with the product. i'm oblivious as i punch in my bank card code, quite happy as i walk out the store, but there is a period of self denial on my way home from the mall, a feeling i can ignore up until the next day. then it finally hits me.. i am a fuckin idiot. my hands anxiously fidget with the price tags, my lower lip is bitten until it bleeds.
then, a few days later, i quietly resign, bashfully return the merchandise, and pout my little mouth out, because i am a total jackass. and of course, when one is silly enough to go through this completely unnecessary ordeal, one cannot actually return to the original store where they bought the shit, they must must must visit another location, because shame is a funny thing and we are funny funny beings.
